What would it tell?

What if all our actions, our deeds and prestations were not recorded in the books of Heavens, but only our prayers, cries and love towards Him… Which story would it tell? Would it tell a story of a perfectionist? Would it have an egocentric main character? Would it tell of a heart full of thick walls and defense-mechanismes?

Or would it tell your love story with Jesus? Would it be the story where God has spoken to you in such a way that you trust Him in the darkest season of your life?

What would it tell?



The greatest adventure

Paul, a traveling missionary to the first century world, put it like this:

“…I consider everything to be nothing compared to knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. To know him is the best thing of all. Because of him I have lost everything. But I consider all of it to be garbage so I can get to know Christ. I want to be joined to him.

For me, being right with God does not come from the law. It comes because I believe in Christ. It comes from God. It is received by faith.girl_in_moms_shoes_are_moms_opting_in_or_out_090913

I want to know Christ better. I want to know the power that raised him from the dead. I want to share in his sufferings. I want to become like him by sharing in his death. Then by God’s grace I will rise from the dead.”

These past 4 years, these words have run repeatedly through my veins, pumping renewing life straight into me, reminding me of the reasons why I move and breathe. I could weep as I write this– there is nothing better, no greater adventure, than the active pursuit of knowing and following God.

Webster defines adventure as “an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity…. the exploration of unknown territory.” I resonate with this when thinking of when I first dared to venture to that place of fully surrendering myself to the Lord and His ways. In my short life, I have gone on a handful of unusual, yet exciting expeditions into unknown territories. Some were less than thrilling; some have left my life forever changed. But there has been nothing—nothing that has taken me deeper into scariest and hardest parts of the world and myself, nothing that has left me more in awe and wonder of something outside of myself, and nothing that has completely changed me from the inside out, or left me in a place where I am so broken for people, more than the daring expedition of being in the trenches of knowing Christ, suffering like Christ, and seeing the world like Christ. The things of this earth, the praises of men, & the “adventures” of this world… cannot compare to this.

Knowing Him is the best thing of all. Knowing God is the greatest adventure.

Whether I was on my knees, alone in Beijing, China, learning how God was a protector, or traveling for years between states, between homes, learning that God was a provider, or finding community and a stable home, living life a little more conventionally, learning how God was a friend– there was nothing I experienced on any of those journeys that could hold a candle to what I was learning about the Lord. Hands down– if I was seeking God with all my heart, I was in the best place I could be– knee-deep in the trenches of encountering Him. If I was hungrily diving into His Word, I was on a journey far surpassing anything worldly. If I was dying to myself like Him, seeing the world like Him, and loving others like Him, I was on the greatest adventure of all.

For many of us, this adventure is not a physical place. It’s a place God is calling our hearts to be. Maybe for some of us, the heart of God is still unknown territory, an undertaking we know has been waiting for us for a while.

Whatever part of the world you are in, whatever job you are in, whatever season of your life you are in, God is begging you—step away from the viewing section. Step away from looking at Him at a distance. Step away from enjoying the sites of other people knowing and serving Him. And come into the trenches of knowing and following God. It’s unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, and much of this territory will remain unknown. But it’s worth the risk; it’s worth throwing comfort to the wind—to better understand the personality of the risen Savior, and to personally encounter the power of Resurrection.

He is the best.

And He is begging us…

To join Him on a greater adventure.

They are pulling you apart!

These days were so aggressive! Full of emotions, thoughts, choices and again emotions. It was like a storm entered my head and tried to take over my heart.

Even my best friends were silent and couldn’t show me the way. Everyone was racing in the same pace, but my own pace was slowing down. I was just so tired.

What if God asked me the biggest question He could ever ask me in this season. The thing I was so proud off He asked me to give up.

I was wrestling: “God, no! You cannot ask this from me. My whole life has waited for this moment. Everyone around me is expecting me to get this! I need to hold on to these strings for a little while longer! I need to pull these ropes around me more tighter to keep me balanced!”images (1)

“Don’t you realize it? – I heard Him whispering –  I love you! I see how they pull you apart! Look, they are hurting you! They are stretching you too far and I just don’t want to see you in this way! I have a better plan for your life. I cannot sit still and watch this happening to you. I just can’t!”

A tear rolled down His cheek.

“I have called you so many times. I have pulled you towards me, but these strings of the world have pulled you away from me. You didn’t cut them lose, but you took them to create a steady place. They weren’t that resting place as you’ve thought in the beginning. No, they are wearing you out.”

In my heart I knew that this was true, but my head was spinning.

“When I do this everything will fall apart! I WILL FALL APART!”

It was silent, but I knew He wasn’t pulling the strings anymore. He wasn’t trying to manipulate me too choose. He was just waiting with those irresistible eyes.

“What if… What if… when you let go you can be with Me again?”

“But God… will You catch me? Will You bind up these wounds? God… sigh… will You help me again?”

And it were not words that convinced me this time. It were not His answers that were fulfilling. No, it was a breeze of wind that showed me more, that brought me hope and caused my arms to let go of these strings.

No heaviness, no weight of sorrows, no high standards anymore…

And did He catch me?

Yes, His arms were not too short to save me

And me?

I laid my head down on His chest, cause His left arm is under my head and His right arm embraces me. [Song of Solomon 8:3] Why? Because I was tired and knew He is now my resting place.