It has been a while since I talked with my dad on such a level. We have done lots of things together, but tonight was a phone-call I hope to remember for a long time. He reminded me about the struggle I had at home when it just had happened. How I fought my own father, where I started war against every loved one who came close.
When you are environment where people are poking in your feelings, pushing your boundaries and stepping on your toes. It makes you long for home and not for that cold wave of water crashing on your self-made sandcastle.
The people who where good distant friends, but changed in homies (so close as family) are seen as predators.
It makes me wonder. Do I need to start over? What does it takes to feel at home again? Why does my body screams I don’t want anyone close to me while my heart yearns for the laughs and the cares…
O God, will You be my safe Haven in this house?
Will You become my Peace in relationships?
Jesus, will You be my Tower of trust?